Shelby's Testimony

Growing up my parents always talked about God with my brother and I but we never really went to church that often. Not that we weren’t a Christian family; in a lot of ways we had those same values, we just never made it a priority.

The best place to start with my journey is in middle school. I had a friend and we hung out together all the time and did everything together. This person pretty much controlled my life in a very negative way and I ended up turning into a person that I didn’t like. I just wasn’t myself and let this person have too much control over my life and the decisions I made. Going into freshman year of high school I started to break away from the friendship because I knew it wasn’t healthy for me and it was causing me to be very unhappy. During this time I was struggling to find who my real friends were as many people are at this age. Sophomore year was the year that I found a great group of friends who shared the same values as me and we had a lot of fun times together. From there I grew closer to a few of them and ended up having a super close group of friends that I feel very lucky to have, and we still talk and hang out when everyone is back in town. Even though I had these amazing friends I was struggling with the friendship that had ended. Once I realized that it wasn’t good for me, anything that was related to that friendship caused me panic and an overwhelming fear as I tried to erase all the memories and start over. I later found out that the “panic” I felt was anxiety.

I struggled for a long time until it got to the point where it was really affecting me and I ended up starting to see a therapist which was one of the best decisions I ever made and she truly helped me through a lot. With her help I was able to begin to control it but I realized it was never going to completely go away and that it was going to take time to heal.

During my senior year I made the choice to move to North Carolina where I had some family and I chose to go to a community college for a few years to figure out what I wanted to major in. This was a big move for me and throughout my first 2 years at the community college I struggled with making friends and being away from home and my friends and family, while trying to create a life for myself in a new state. I recently found a quote that perfectly describes what I was feeling,

“you can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick.”

Throughout this time I often questioned whether I made the right decision to move, but looking back on it now I can see that it was all part of the plan that God had for me. The reason I made the choice to move was because in order to fully help myself heal I needed to take a break from the environment that was causing me so much anxiety.

Due to residency issues I ended up having to attend the community college for a third year which at first I wasn’t happy about. But again God came through for me and showed me again and again that he had bigger plans for me and this ended up being my favorite year. I had some really supportive teachers and had met some amazing friends. Looking back now I see all the wonderful ways that God was working in my life but my mind was so clouded with distractions and anxiety that it was hard for me to see that he was right there with me all along.

Throughout these years, my anxiety started to go away little by little and I was feeling more content with my choice to move away from home although I still really missed my family and friends. I started working at a Christain daycare which was a true blessing and I started going to church there with one of my friends. This really pushed my faith as it was something new to me but I began to feel more comfortable with it the more I went. Looking back, I’m so thankful for the opportunity to work there because that turned out to be exactly where God wanted me to be to help me grow more as a person and in my relationship with him. It helped to set the foundation for my faith.

During my time at the community college, I finally decided that I wanted to major in nursing. As I started looking for a 4-year college to transfer to I found Appalachian State. The first time I toured here it instantly felt like home and I couldn’t wait to live there because I knew this was the place for me. After a lot of hard work and interviews, I was accepted into the nursing program at Appalachian State and into the transfer RLC which was a dorm specifically for transfer students. For the program I had to move to Boone for a few weeks in the Summer to take a class. The day before my family was supposed to come to NC to help me move in I ended up having a change of plans that I never saw coming. That morning I had a list of everything I needed to do before my family got there and I headed out around 8 AM that day. I was headed down the road listening to my music and that’s the last I remember before getting into a head on collision with another car. The other person in the accident was safe and I ended up totaling my car. Thankfully, I had very minor injuries which I was very lucky and blessed to have compared to how bad the accident was. I will never forget this day because as bad as it was this was the day that God changed my life forever! This was the day that he showed me no matter where you are in your journey with Him, He will always be there watching over you. It might seem crazy to some people that it took a traumatic experience for me to fully trust in God but instead of focusing on the horrible accident I started to realize that I was lucky to be where I was. It was all thanks to God showing me that his love never fails and he is always there, even when you least expect it. Although the accident caused me to have a whole new journey with anxiety it has led me closer to God. I began to see that God’s plan for you will always prevail over any other plan or goal that you have set for yourself. That Summer was a healing process for me but definitely something that has helped me immensely in my faith. I also want to shout out my best friend Michelle for being there for me for 21 years! So thankful for all the talks and adventures we've had so far and thank you for never failing to show me what a true friendship is!

I moved out of the dorms that Summer and went home to relax before coming back for the beginning of the Fall semester. For the transfer RLC dorm we had to move in a few days early for some activities. I remember the first couple of days were pretty rough and I had pretty much lost my appetite as I was trying to get used to this new life. But one of the first nights we were alone for dinner, I messaged one of the girls I met at the retreat that day and asked if she wanted to go to an event that night. She ended up inviting me to come with her and her roommate and a couple of other people to go to dinner. I can’t tell you how glad I am that I decided to go because the people I met that night ended up being my closest friends and the friends that I had been praying to God for.

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Throughout my struggles of trying to make friends and all the anxiety ridden days, God was preparing me and leading me to this place and these people and I can’t wait to see where this journey continues to take me! These girls help push me each day in my faith and have helped me grow even closer to God. Even in the most difficult of times, never forget that God is always there and he has a bigger plan for you than you could ever imagine. The best is yet to come!

“Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10