Anna's Testimony

I was raised in a Christian household. Both of my parents are Christians, we went to church every Sunday, I knew what Christians were and were not supposed to do, and I sang songs about Jesus’ love without really understanding the concept.

Although growing up with Christian parents and a strong Christian community is definitely a huge blessing, I do think that it caused me to end up rather apathetic towards my faith and my relationship with God. Early on in high school, I started to feel dissatisfied in my faith. I was anxious and restless, I struggled with my self worth, and I felt guilty about these things. I knew that as a Christian, my faith and my relationship with God were supposed to affect my life. I struggled with the lie that, if I really had a “good” relationship with God, I wasn’t supposed to feel these things. I grew pretty distant from my faith and relied heavily on earthly things (relationships, my grades, the opinions of others, my own self confidence, etc.) for my happiness and validation.

I slowly began to realize that a relationship with Christ means actively seeking Him and desiring to know Him more and more. I began to read scripture and pray about what it truly means to be fully known and loved by God. I sought a better understanding of what it means for my identity to be found in Christ alone. God opened my eyes to how important it is for me to rely solely on Him, His love, and His grace. If we truly believe that Jesus paid for our sins on the cross- once and for all- then we don’t have to rely on our own abilities… it doesn’t matter what any other human thinks of us. What we are able to accomplish in school or at work doesn’t matter. As imperfect humans, we’re going to succumb to anxieties and doubts from time to time- it’s part of life.

But when we lean on God and trust fully in Him, we begin to realize that our worth, our validation, and our satisfaction was never meant to come from anything we can accomplish on our own or from anything or anyone on this earth. God loves us, right here, right now, just as we are. He shows us constant grace- His mercies truly are new each and every morning! His grace covers us fully.

Truly recognizing and holding onto this knowledge helped me to find my identity in Christ alone- in His love for me, in the salvation that is mine through Jesus, and in His purpose for my life. The mistakes I make and the fears I battle are not mightier than my Heavenly Father. My life’s story cannot be “ruined” because I stray away from my relationship with God or temporarily forget the truth about who I am in Christ.

With this hope, my anxiety is lessened- it doesn’t control my life or my decisions and it doesn’t change my worth or God’s love for me. I am freed from the guilt and heaviness of feeling that fears make me “less of a Christian” or unworthy of God’s love.

This frees me to lean into life without the fear of failing- these things do not define me. The truths that define me are unchanging- they always have been and always will be true. My mistakes, my doubts, the opinions of others- none of these things will change the fact that I am fully known and loved by Christ. This knowledge brings me so much joy and hope and peace!

Psalm 34:4

I prayed to the Lord and He answered me, He freed me from all my fears.

1 John 3:1-2

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.

Colossians 3:1-3

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.